[求教解疑]麻烦各位高手帮我看一下，修改下我的作文，谢谢了！
Why I choose to enter a university?　　
Some university students nowasdays humorously describe themselves as celery cabbage,vividly showing their little value in society and hence earn little in the work.Once,they were considered to be God’s favoured ones.But things have changed in the recent years.The increasing number of university students worsens the job market.Especially in the year of 2009,thousands of graduates face the dilemma.That graduationg means jobless becomes real.Some even feel depressed and gloomy during the last year in school.　　
Most of us have been brought up to believe that key university equates success.But the sad truth is that those job-seekers from key university also find themselves taking an arduous journey in job hunting.I can’t help asking myself,what can I learn in university that will help me to be a employee? As a potential school leavers,as well as a jobless one,I am also worried about my future.If time could go back,would I still choose to go to university or just to go to a factory?　　
I’m firmed believed that communication is the basic skill in life.What you say is so as important as how you say it.In other words,one should clearly express himself and logically organize his ideas.And then you have better chance to persuade your listeners in doing something.You verbal expression indicates your thoughts,your education and also your leadership.　　
I’m also believed that verbal expression is one skill that the school can teach systematically.You have a lot of time reading all kinds of books,sharing your ideas with others.Step bt step,you develop the habbit of thinking independently,making judgement wisely by yourself.　　
That ’s what a higher education counts.If time could go back,I would choose to enter a university despite the fierce competition and the low salary.Because a university help me to lay a foundations for skills in expression,which I would never have an opportunity to learn out of the school campus.　　　　
　　Why I choose to enter a university?　　
　　Some university students nowasdays humorously describe themselves as celery cabbage,vividly showing their little value in society and hence earn little in the work.Once,they were considered to be God’s favoured ones.But things have changed in the recent years.The increasing number of university students worsens the job market.Especially in the year of 2009,thousands of graduates face the dilemma.That graduationg means jobless becomes real.Some even feel depressed and gloomy during the last year in school.　　　　 Most of us have been brought up to believe that key university equates success.But the sad truth is that those job-seekers from key university also find themselves taking an arduous journey in job hunting.I can’t help asking myself,what can I learn in university that will help me to be a employee? As a potential school leavers,as well as a jobless one,I am also worried about my future.If time could go back,would I still choose to go to university or just to go to a factory?　　　　 I’m firmed believed that communication is the basic skill in life.What you say is so as important as how you say it.In other words,one should clearly express himself and logically organize his ideas.And then you have better chance to persuade your listeners in doing something.You verbal expression indicates your thoughts,your education and also your leadership.　　　　 I’m also believed that verbal expression is one skill that the school can teach systematically.You have a lot of time reading all kinds of books,sharing your ideas with others.Step bt step,you develop the habbit of thinking independently,making judgement wisely by yourself.　　　　 That ’s what a higher education counts.If time could go back,I would choose to enter a university despite the fierce competition and the low salary.Because a university help me to lay a foundations for skills in expression,which I would never have an opportunity to learn out of the school campus.　　　　　　
　　大家能不能修改下我错误的地方，看看语法上和词汇的用法上有没有很大的错误，我想写的是议论文，不知道我写的清楚不？意思表达清楚了没？条理清楚不？水平大概在哪个层次的，怎么做出个提高，谢谢大家了
　　Upon the whole your composition is pretty good, so keep the good work! ^)^ But after a close scrutiny, I think there are still some parts need to be polished.　　　　Nowadays, some university students describe themselves humorously as &celery cabbage&, clearly showing their little interesting in society and hence, earn little in the workforce. 　　　　describe themselves humorously　　______________________________________　　&jokingly describe themselves& may be better.　　　　clearly showing their little interesting in society and hence, earn little in the workforce.　　__________________________________________　　which clearly shows they have little interest in the society and therefore earn very little after entering the workforce.　　　　for your reference only
　　太谢谢你了！！！　　
　　谢谢SpringJohn耐心点评，上个星期生病了，然后一直没有时间上网，今天上天涯。谢谢你！　　　　还有前面的Richard055~~~　　　　　　经过一些修改，感觉文章就是比较通顺，自己的文章就是要让大家看一下才能有进步的地方
　　好的，我改天一定会做做上面的翻译~~~
　　I’m also believed that verbal expression is one skill that the school can teach systematically.You have a lot of time reading all kinds of books,sharing your ideas with others.Step bt step,you develop the habbit of thinking independently,making judgement wisely by yourself.　　　　　　　　That ’s what a higher education counts.If time could go back,I would choose to enter a university despite the fierce competition and the low salary.Because a university help me to lay a foundations for skills in expression,which I would never have an opportunity to learn out of the school campus.　　　　　　　　=== 4/5 =======　　　　　　　　I also believe that verbal expression is one skill that a school can systematically teach. You have a lot of time to read all kinds of books and share your ideas with others. Step by step, you develop the habit of thinking independently and, generally, making independent judgments.　　　　　　　　That’s where a higher education counts. If I could turn back time, I would choose to enter a university. Despite the fierce competition in the job market and a potentially low salary, a university can help me lay foundations for skills in expression, a learning opportunity I would never have outside of any school campus. :-)　　　　　　
　　Step by step, you develop the habit of thinking independently and, generally, making independent judgments.　　　　　　修改后加了个generally插入语, 这个修改让我觉得SpringJone的英语思维肯定是很好，改后，真的地道多了。而且语义上更准确~~~　　高手啊~~~　　
　　我又认真地看了一遍，觉得修改的太好了，标点符号都注意到了。谢谢你了，另外，你提供的sample，我觉得写的很好，最重要的是内容很好，特别是对自我的认识。但是，要翻译的很好也是很难的。　　　　　　我一直都没有察觉出自己是一个很没有主见的人，很东西我都没有表达我的意见，通常就是别人让我做什么我就做什么。因为在家里是最小的，意见想法得不到重视或者倾听。这种多年的压抑对我今天的性格有很大的影响　　　　我同学老说我很善变的，其实不是这样的，在某种事情和同学达不成一致的看法或者意见时，我会很拿不定注意，最后就是给出一个很模糊的回答。这种模糊的回答后面其实就是没有主见啦。然后就给人很善变的感觉。　　　　　　所以我潜意识就觉得，善于表达自己是重要的吧。　　　　　　　　还有一点我不是很明白，给college counselor看的文章 语言为什么要简单易懂呢，是不是给人比较流畅的感觉呢?写作是应该用简单的词表达出最复杂的意思，是吗？　　　　　　
　　楼主 推荐你去看看 张卓老师的博客 他在里面清楚的讲了行文的要求 相信会受益匪浅~ 对啦 这篇文章改的很不错 很用心呀
　　汗啊，我都不敢跟别人说我是英文专业二年级的学生了。汗，惭愧。英文中文都没有学到家。SpringJohn说我品学兼优，惭愧啊。大一的时候没有好好规划，白白浪费了好多的时间。现在学习压力稍微重了一点，又受不了。呵呵。　　　　　　是啊，现在天气变化极大。谢谢关心~大伙们也要多注意身体，多锻炼~我这学期坚持过一段时间的长跑，睡眠很高，而且第二天的大脑会很清醒。做什么事情都很有效率~　　　　Sample今天上午大概地翻译了。我周末两整天都上课了，所以没有翻。我再修改修改，再发上来~~~　　呵呵:)　　
　　好的，谢谢了，张卓老师的博客。对了，这作文是做做的练习的。　　　　　　文章如建屋，总是有些“前景”与“背景”分别，“背景”说写作时看这文是做啥的，也就说读者是谁？目的是什麽。村屋丶别墅丶高楼？一般说来文章分成“制文”还是“散文”，太长或太短的文章如：报告丶公文书丶信件丶小说丶诗词等都有一定格式，讲这“制文”历来有许多专论。“散文”则是比较多变化，“前景”说它看上去是长得如何。窗门位置协调不？白话的中丶英文体其实没什么差异。您说用简单的词表达出复杂的意思，当“指引”时是很正确的。学校有“结构”或“修辞”这些专业，我不是专家，就不敢乱讲了。　　　　　　明白了。谢谢
　　This year, there will be 6,110,000 graduates. Compared with the number 1,067,000 in 1998, a year saw the reformation of higher education in China, it multiplys nearly six times. Once upon a time, countless students have to fight for the fierce competition in NCEE and only few of them can attend college. But things have changed since the reformation, more and more senior high students from different backgrounds can be admitted to college, which contribute a lot to the prosperous development of college.
　　晕，我发的呢?嘿嘿，刚刚翻出来了，小错误可能会很多。有些地方意思也改了不少。　　　　 This year, there will be 6,110,000 graduates. Compared with the number 1,067,000 in 1998, a year saw the reformation of higher education in China, it multiplys nearly six times. Once upon a time, countless students have to fight for the fierce competition in NCEE and only few of them can attend college. But things have changed since the reformation, more and more senior high students from different backgrounds can be admitted to college, which contribute a lot to the prosperous development of college.
　　This year, there will be 6,110,000 graduates. Compared with the number 1,067,000 in 1998, a year saw the reformation of higher education in China, it multiplys nearly six times. Once upon a time, countless students had to fight for the fierce competition in NCEE and only few of them could attend college. But things have changed since the reformation, more and more senior high students from different backgrounds can be admitted to college, which contribute a lot to the prosperous development of college.
　　But why attend college? Many students think that attending college serve for the same expectation of themselves, family and society. Besides, with a higher education，they will be rewarded with a better salary , a higher status in society as well as the promotion of individual . In this point, they hold the same view with the ancients, who thought studies served for craft, for reputation and for wealth.
　　Still, many people doubt whether a college can teach you something that makes you transmute itself into an asset for your own benefit. In spite of this, many students rush to attend it as usual without any hesitation. It seems that they are attracted by a certain force. To make matters worse, they cann’t even make out what college education is for. And without the correct and efficient direction of family, teacher or society, many of them feel lost in campus life.
　　In such situation, I can not help asking myself what on earth can a higher education bring to us before we fully develop in psychology? As far as I’m concerned, college provides not only a stage where we can learn profession skills , promote ourselves ,but also make acquaintance with teachers who inspire our thought, and friends who share the same interest with us. What’s more, we can
understand what we really want in the future and plan our blue print. This is where college education counts.
　　College is a short voyage in study of my life, leaving college means a brand new beginning of life .I know my goal and what I want,what I should do next is enjoy the wonderful and tense life in college.
　　~~~~~　　LZ去试讲课回来了~~~嘿嘿，抱着去看一看的心态去试讲的，所以不是很紧张。　　　　　　在下面准备的好好的，一上讲台，什么都乱了，不过还好，不紧张。我暑假还要学日语，我是这样的，进不了也没关系的。不过那个教书的是在另外一个地方，快接近宁夏了吧，所以也挺憧憬的，想去那边教教书的。　　　　　　~~~　　
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　　what could I learn in a university that would help me as an employee? As a potential school leavers,meanwhile quite likely a jobless graduate,I am also worried about my future.If the clock would turn back,should I still choose to go to a university or should I just go to a factory after senior high?　　　　 I firmly believes that communication is the basic skill in life.The specific way how your ideas is expressed and organised is as important as the content itself, if not more importantly.　　　　中式英語還是比較嚴重,不地道
　　汗，惭愧到家了~~~
　　Happy Dragon Boat Festival to Everyone　　　　 端 - 午 - 节 - 快 - 乐 :-)　　　　　　端午节快乐~~~
　　汗，我翻的烂了去了.Thanking you!
　　Thank you~晕，晕死
Thanking you!~~~：（
打错了　　
　　谢谢SpringJohn~~~
　　谢谢大家对此贴的关注，谢谢~~我明天要回家一趟，可能在这半个月都不会上网了~~~
　　祝大家开开心心的~~~　　　　；）
　　说句实在话，改得比较糟糕……　　
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