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求高人批改雅思作文,请问这样能拿多少分呢?At present,an excellent education is notsimply confined to the delivery of knowledge.It involoves the cultivation ofdifferent consciousness .So whether the sense of competition or cooperationshould be encouraged in children arouses controversy.Competition is widely throught to be themain driving force for humankind.Without the competition,people would gain asense of fulfillment rather than the crisis awareness.They even become slothfuland be unwilling to confront with the risk and challenge.So the sense ofcompetition can provide people with the motivation which can inspire them to beaggressive.Also,competition can help individual to stimulate the ability andfulfill the potential since people will do their utmost to defeat their rivalsunder the pressure.Additionally,compared with other competitors,people wouldfind their own shortcomings and draw on others' strengths,thereby betteringthemselves.However,the sense of competition may leadpeople to be selfish and pretentious,so it is essential for children to learnto cooperate with others as cooperation is beneficial to stengthen bonds amongchildren,avoid conflicts and make them understand the importance of teamspirit,especially when they are doing some group activities such as thefootball match and short play.Further,cooperation can promote the developmentof communication skills which contributes towards the abilies to organize andcoordinate.Most importantly,effective cooperation can boost the efficiency andsave the time and money.That is to say,there would be a win-win situation forpeople,on condition that they learn to build cooperative relationships.Both competition and cooperation areintegral parts of human lives,they become increasingly interralated andinterdependent.Therefore,I think people should help their children to strike abalance between them and I believe children can inspire each other and achievecommon progress by keeping a competitive throught in cooperation.Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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1."involoves",这里应该是"involves";2." in children",是不是改为among更好点?3.“throught ”,应是"thought";4."be unwilling to ",这里be用的不对,前边缺东西.5.”confront with“,这里用错了,confront是个及物动词,应当直接跟宾语.6.”since people will do their utmost “,这里since用的似乎不对吧?7."draw on others' strengths,thereby bettering themselves.改为：draw on others' strengths to better themselves.是否更好?个人感觉你用的似乎不恰当.8.”pretentious,so “这句话前后不搭,有木有?”stengthen bonds“,不是加强团结的意思吧?9.” save the time “,去掉the.10."Both competition and cooperation are integral parts of human lives,they become increasingly interralated and interdependent",这句缺少了连词.11.”interralated “,应是,interrelated12."throught in cooperation",很不通顺,是否有错?（看雅思的作文,真的很费时间,好多单词我都不太认识.你词汇好丰富,很佩服!但是个人感觉,你通篇作文中还是简单句太多了,还有意思重复的内容貌似多了点,你可以用复杂句型来表达丰富含义嘛,要不会显得很累赘,对吗?不过你的词汇量真的很大,很厉害.如果我上面的改正有什么不足,请指正!）
谢谢你，我打完了没回去纠正单词，除了拼错的词1,3,11,12有拼写错误，大概能有什么分数呢？
我还没考雅思，所以我做不出确切的评价，实在抱歉。
。。。。。
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就是写作的分数啊
假如满分是100你能得90.。。
单词写错扣0.5分，语法错误扣1分，字迹不工整扣2分按照以上规定，自己就可以打分希望对你有帮助
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Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement?Universitiesshould give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities asthey give to their university libraries.Use specificreasons and examples to support your opinion.主要观点：学校把钱用在哪个方面根据学校类型来定。1、分为体育类学校，这类学校应该把钱用在sports activities上面。2、第二类学校则为不是体育类学校，应该把钱用在图书馆建立上面。作文正文（309words）Whether universities should give the amount of money to their students' sports activities or give to their university libraries depends on genres of universities.Thereare some reasons as followed.If these universities are ascribed to the types of sport schools,they should give more money to their students’ sports activities than to those libraries.Because this types of the universities are practicing school.The students in these kinds ofuniversities prefer do more execises to learn more theories from variousbooks.In order to promote their students competition,these types of universities may hold many different sports’ activities and finally grant trapping or certification for students.Consequently,these universities' students may have more opportunities to find a job.Moreover,these types of the universities should consider students' physical qualities significantly.These students need to do more sports activities and then the sports' equipments do not endure a plenty of repetitive work well.&&And other types of the universities are classified as the schools that hope their students to learn more knowledge from books and accompany to do some execises.They would give more amount of money to built their university libraries and display various books from different fields.They should decorate their libraries as tranquil as well and then encourage their students to study in the libraries.For example,there are lots of students in these types of the universities that they dislike doing some sports,and they are willing to stay in the libraries to widen their horizons.In addition,they think that knowledge is a key to find a good job and sports could relieve them from onerous study pressues.Finally,the universities may depend on their students requests to decide which way is adequate.In my opinion,I agree with that universities should give more money to their university libraries.Because more novel sports'activities may distract their students from their study.In the constrast,building their libraries can stimulate their students work hard and learn knowledge from different fields.
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看看这篇说明先
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ymeet 发表于
看看这篇说明先
http://www.sharewithu.com/thread--1.html
你好，我看了哈。但是还是不知我这种2边都支持的写法对于这道题来说偏题不？
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monster0529 发表于
你好，我看了哈。但是还是不知我这种2边都支持的写法对于这道题来说偏题不？
可以的，问题不是很大，其实观点不重要，重要的是能自圆其说。如果需要我给你批改就请你为其他同学批三篇作文吧
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ymeet 发表于
可以的，问题不是很大，其实观点不重要，重要的是能自圆其说。如果需要我给你批改就请你为其他同学批三篇 ...
版主，主要最近有点忙。没办法！····我过段时间给其他同学批改哈，谢谢你的意见。想问个问题，托福作文是不是不用太注意题目内容，只要能自圆其说就可以吗？
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monster0529 发表于
版主，主要最近有点忙。没办法！····我过段时间给其他同学批改哈，谢谢你的意见。想问个问题，托福作 ...
额，题目还是要看的吧。。
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TPO15作文求批改 ，题目是问whether children should mange money at young age
currently, parents are more likely to offer their children some moey and ask them to manage it independently. the people advocate this argue that it would help the children learn how to manage money as young as possible and form a awareness...
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你们觉得这些里面哪个学校最难考呀？？都是我想考的呀…………纠结中
我爱你们 你们很胖 啦啦啦啦啦啦哈哈哈哈哈 哦哟哟哟
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