圣诞节：送你一颗感激的心_健康之家_中药大全
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圣诞节：送你一颗感激的心
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“妈妈，圣诞老人会送我什么礼物？”“妈妈，我想要一个和隔壁丁丁的一样的小汽车行吗？”“妈妈，我还要那个。”当孩子提出这样的要求，你是接受还是拒绝。当一个又一个节日带着美丽的笑容接踵而来，你怎样能让孩子懂得感激而不是一味要求，怎样让他们了解，最值得珍惜的不是五光十色的礼物，而是亲人，是快乐，是爱。
去年过后的第一天，我5岁的女儿莎莎把她的姨妈“诱骗”到玩具商店，然后轻蔑地“哧”了一声，指给姨妈看其中的一个玩具。“她告诉我说，这个玩具圣诞老人没有带给她。”我妹妹说到这里不禁叹息。这是真的，不过圣诞老人还是带给她很多别的玩具。莎莎不仅不感激，反倒要求得更多。
孩子小小的贪心其实很正常，毕竟他们很少能分辨出想要的东西和实际需要的东西之间的区别，同时对购买商品所需要的经济能力毫无概念。但是作为妈妈，我还是很希望孩子可以对自己已经拥有的东西有一颗感激的心，希望她能学会珍惜身边的爱，而不是迷失在这个五光十色的物质世界里。
又是一年要结束了，这是个好机会，可以教会孩子感激一年来拥有和接受的东西。下面这些方法告诉你，在孩子表现出贪婪的时候，怎样慢慢灌输给他们感激的心情。
每年12月份，你都发誓说，要让节日更有意义，而不只是疯狂购物，疯狂打开礼品的包装。但这个季节，当各种节日接踵而来，你很担心又会重蹈覆辙。
毫无疑问，孩子喜欢礼物。但是，形成一种传统，让人每年对这一传统产生盼望，这才是节日与众不同的地方。聪明的妈妈要带给孩子比礼物更长久的回忆，找到可以和孩子分享的仪式。
首先我们来想想如何处理礼物。在这个问题上，我们不妨参考一下每年圣诞都要面对大堆礼物的西方父母的做法。美国人正在告戒自己，如果父母们知道孩子将从亲戚那里得到很多礼物，那么他们完全可以考虑减少自己在送给孩子的礼物上的开销。有些家庭抽签决定谁能得到奖品，有的家庭的规矩是：大人没有礼物，只有孩子才有。玛丽?夏洛克是《与孩子简单生活》一书的作者，她建议用游戏的方法代替传统的礼物馈赠：每个人都带一个包装起来的礼物，可以是很可笑的，也可以是二手的或者便宜的。每人抽取号码，可以在一堆礼物中选择一件，也可以选择别人已经打开的礼物。或者，也可以考虑用自己制造的礼物代替买来的礼物，比如相册、镜框、孩子唱歌表演时的录像带等等。
你最好在节日之前就和家人和朋友讨论交换礼物的问题。你完全可以告诉大家：“今年我们的重点是节日的质量而不是礼物的数量。”亲戚听到这句话很可能会感到轻松。
另外就是一些处理礼物的了。美国波士顿的卡罗尔?考夫曼建议，在拆开礼物的时候，要减缓拆封的步骤。不要让孩子一下子把礼物全都拆开，而是每次把一件礼物交给一名家庭成员。”步骤慢下来，能让孩子更好地理解接受的东西，真正地欣赏礼物。”另外，让孩子参与到礼物包装的工作中，这样他就能够理解别人在礼物中寄托的爱心。
你5岁的孩子很想像朋友那样来一场生日狂欢，而你更愿意简单一点。
如果你不愿意带孩子去骑木马，看魔术，或者买昂贵的礼物，而愿意让事情变得简单一些，那你一定要事先和孩子说明。“尽管生日是个特别的日子，但也不能成为牺牲家庭信念的借口。”美国诺瓦东南大学的博士戴比?格拉切说。不管奢华的晚会是否超出你的预算，是否违背你的原则，身为父母，你的任务是适可而止。
你可以这样对孩子说，“我知道小燕生日晚会上的宠物乐园很好玩，不过咱们过生日的时候没有这个。在咱们家，生日是和最爱的人在一起开开心心地过。”然后着重讲生日晚会上会有什么。“告诉你的孩子，他的生日不必和朋友一样，也会很有趣。”夏洛克说，“他也许正需要你开阔他的眼界，尝试其他可能。”
让孩子参与到策划的过程，这样他就能珍惜召开生日晚会所付出的努力。让他选择需要邀请的小伙伴。如果他真的很喜欢动物，可以让他和两三个最好的朋友一起去动物园。爱好体育的孩子可以和小伙伴在后院举办小型奥运会，也可以在室内游戏场开展气氛热烈的狂欢。对于年纪大一些的孩子，你可以设定一个价格标准，帮他计算出能够邀请多少朋友，哪些人他愿意去掉，腾出名额来邀请更多的朋友。或者他可以选择，计算提供的食物需要多少钱，食物不仅仅是蛋糕和。这样，你就给她上了关于统筹和预算的宝贵一课。
每次孩子向你要什么玩具，你就告诉她，“把它写下来，列成一个愿望的单子。”随着节日的临近，她会给你一个愿望的清单，并期待着能在圣诞树下发现它们。
把愿望列成清单，似乎是让孩子听话的好策略。但如果你不同时教给她如何理性消费，你还会受到困扰。所以，去商店的时候，告诉孩子用优惠券购买其他商品会节省多少钱。
买一个DVD播放机的时候，告诉她你为了买这个东西付出了多少努力才攒够钱。
孩子通常通过观察大人来形成自己对物质的概念。大人想要什么就能立刻得到，为什么他们孩子就不行？如果孩子说，“用信用卡吧。”你要解释说，信用卡也要用到你在银行里的钱，而钱是通过工作得来的。对于年长的孩子来说，如果经过她的允许，让她帮忙付款，她也许会更珍惜这件礼物。或者放一个家庭零钱罐，存钱准备一个特别的节目，如某天晚上看电影。这会帮助她建立一种观念：等你有钱了再买某件东西。
你也许有能力购买孩子愿望清单上的所有物品，但这并不是问题所在。从幼年起，孩子从电视和朋友那里得来一种观念，认为拥有最新最好的玩具会让他们更快乐，更受欢迎。“孩子索要东西是种情感需要――需要被接受、被喜爱，或者成为群体的一员。”心理学家夏洛克说，“所以你需要让你的孩子了解：他是怎样的人与他买了什么或拥有什么没有任何关系。讲明白这个道理的最好的方法是示范，你自己做事或者评论他人的时候就不要那么物质至上。”还有，看看她的愿望清单，问她为什么需要这些东西，她是否真的需要它们。如果她要你再买一个玩具熊，告诉她，她已经有一个类似的了，然后建议她选择其他可能喜欢的玩具。你可以让她标出一些最喜欢的东西，也可以和其他家庭成员一起分享这些建议。如果她仍旧相信礼物是圣诞老人带来的，你可以告诉她，圣诞老人还要给很多别的小朋友送礼物(有些小朋友运气更不好)，他不可能拿到她清单上的所有东西。
你3岁的孩子发现，他从你那里得不到的东西，也许能从姥姥那里得到。现在，他直接找姥姥要玩具，通常都能得到。
在某种程度上，老人容易溺爱孩子，但这不能以牺牲你要灌输给孩子的价值观为代价。你也不愿你的孩子认为他可以利用老人的慷慨。你要对老人的礼物表示感谢，同时表示，你愿意你的孩子不把任何得到的东西都视为理所当然。对你的父母你也可以这样说，“我知道从小你们就教育我要节俭。现在我希望教给孩子同样的美德。”
另外，要鼓励你的父母和孩子一起活动，比如在院子里玩捉迷藏游戏，或者翻看以前的照片，这些都不需要买什么东西。“告诉他们，孩子最想要的是他们的陪伴、关注和爱。”美国华盛顿儿童礼貌课程的发明者凯琳-格列高里这样说，她教授的课程是社交技巧、行为方式和礼仪。“礼物不会长久，但回忆却会永存。”告诉你的父母，你印象最深刻的是和自己的祖父母一起度过的时光，而不是他们送给你的礼物。你的父母会理解这一点的。
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